My Beloved Sister,
I don’t know about you, but I have learnt a lot from sharing with you the messages on Reciprocity. The comments from readers have really taught me alot. Now I am ready to give Trust, Respect and Love, and expect same in return because they are reciprocal. What about you?
Today’s message is about Making Male Friends. One of the mistakes single ladies make is once a man speaks to them, they size the man up with the unspoken questions: Is he a possible suitor? Does he meet my expectations? Will we have a relationship that leads to marriage? Having such questions at the forefront of ones mind could be an indirect prejudice.
Why? You may ask. This is because if to those questions the answer is yes, subconsciously, you behave differently towards the man. You may either pretend so he could date you, or you end up taking the discussion towards relationship, marriage, etc. Alternatively, if the answer is No, you quickly put him aside and await Mr. Right.
My view is that you should be open when people come to you. Be friends with them. You never know who your king is. This gives you the opportunity to be your true self. Your king is looking for the you in you.
Let me share a personal experience. I love writing. I had a friend who read all my write ups and kept encouraging me to keep writing. But there I was in a relationship with someone whom I had to hide my love for writing because he was not interested. I had to fit into what he wanted me to be so we could just get married. And when I had gist about my writing, guess who I ran to? Best friend. Because he will listen, he will rejoice with me and he will encourage me. I am thankful to God that today Best friend is My King.
Remember your friends appreciate you for who you are. As those gentlemen come to you, don’t push them away. Make them your friends with no expectation in mind. You never know how everything will turn out.
If you are in a relationship, make your partner your friend. Though he will never replace the role of a female friend in your life, he can be that first person you desire to share your heart and world with.
My Very Best Wishes…
15 comments:
u r right. we make those mistakes alot, which is really unfair because we could be missing a link in our lives, a help that might be necessary tomorrow, a shoulder to cry on.
This is a great lesson. A lot of wonderful relationships start from being friends first and if you're so focused on finding a partner that you decide that you don't need any more friends, you may really miss out on something great.
@Uzezi: Something insightful u said is "...we could be missing a link in our lives..."...a friend does not have to end up as a boyfriend or husband, but could be a link to a great person in our lives...thanks for this comment...
@Good Naija Girl: I can't imagine a great relationship where the parties are not friends...u put it so rightly...
i totally agree with this post...
my hubby is my best friend too :-)
Oops, (what doesth thou here). Ladies' corner.
Apologies mi ladies....
@Aloted: Thanks...and I'm glad you can attest to the words in this post...btw, why have u been MIA?
@Rethots: You are most welcome here anytime...
ah, you too dey talk truth o! lol..it's so true that we subcounsciously adjust to appeal to whoever it is that is currently occupying the "potenial huzzbe" position. ah, you read my mind on the regular o, because i'm contantly on about this whole "be yourself thing", especially with a person whom you intend to get so close with, because, in the end, you're going to get tired of filling a role and putting who you are aside. It's hard work being somebody else! lol..and theres the theory of, even if it's one person that understands who you are, then let it be, but at least that one person would appreciate you exactly as you are..oya, i've rambled..lol
The one time I was not myself, I made an utter fool of myself.
@Theicequeen: It's really hard work being someone else...I feel you...
@Waffarian: You can say that again... I've been there too...
you're got it spot on hon, the basis of a fab relationship is being friends first!!
and heey feel free to take stuff from my blog!!
knock knock..where r u?
@Shonavixen: Thanks dear...
@Aloted: It is a long story...
Good writting, true speech girl.
Beautiful post...I am feeling this big time!
truth be told, as women, we miss the point atimes...Sometimes, we wear our emotions on our sleeves and miss out on great friendship that can teach us a thing a or two about life!
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