Reciprocity (I)

My Beloved Sister,

I hope you’ve got to know more about yourself with the last post. Today begins the reciprocity series. We will be looking at things that are reciprocal. If you want to have them, you will have to give them.

Today’s message is Trust is Reciprocal.

There is a lot of mistrust in the world today. Imagine that the love story of most young girls begin with either rape or heartbreak. How do you expect such a lady to ever trust anyone?

To have a beautiful and long-lasting relationship, trust is an important element. You want your king to say, “I trust her completely. I can bet my life for her.” But you don’t get such trust overnight. You need to build it.

My few cents on how you can build trust:
1. Avoid lying, especially to someone as important as your king. It might sound like a difficult thing to do but with the help of God, you can achieve this.

2. Do not give him reason to doubt you. Women do feel special when they keep getting phone calls and text messages from other guys. When that special man asks who’s calling, the reply is “he’s just a friend’. Such things can make the man feel insecure and not trust you. For someone who will likely spend the rest of your life with you, he deserves to know your friends. Sometimes, it could truly be a friend, but trying to make everything seem so mysterious actually causes mistrust. Let things be clear and transparent.

3. Be open. Share your thoughts and feelings with him. Sometimes, all it takes is for you to share something deep that an emotional bond is built. When he thinks of someone to share something with, he will remember your openness.

4. Avoid gossiping and leaking secrets. Your king will sense if you are the type he can trust by the words of your mouth. Are you talking about other people, saying things you cannot say to their face? Have you just leaked a secret to another friend? He could easily know what you will do with his information by what you do with other people’s information.

5. Give him the opportunity to speak. We women can easily pour our hearts and thoughts out, uncontrollably, and on anyone we feel is okay for that purpose. While you talk, do you give him the opportunity to speak? Or he is just a place where you recount the events of your day? When he does have the opportunity to speak, to someone who is willing to listen, then he can share a part of himself. This begins the process of developing trust.

If you’ve got to the point where your king trusts you, do not do anything to break that trust. That level of trust, when broken, is hard to regain.

And if somewhere in your heart you are saying, “I have trusted before yet my trust was taken for granted…” please know that you are moving on to someone better. Someone who will not take your trust for granted.

My Very Best Wishes…

Recommended Reading
1. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex by John Gray