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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Wait a minute, Sisters!

My Beloved Sisters,

I cannot believe I have not written in a long while. But without doubt, I always had you in my thoughts. I have done my research on causes of conflict in relationships and marriage. I came up with these 3 things as causes (in no particular order):
1.External factors
2.Money
3.Sex

In subsequent posts, I will expantiate on them but I am not in a hurry, especially because of how easily we take for granted the "External Factors".

Today, I am saying "Wait a Minute, Sisters!"
Just a few questions:

Will you marry him if you knew
1. He does not clean up his own mess. He will wait for you to do it?
2. He cannot head the family spiritually because he believes women are the spiritual beings?
3. He cannot take care of himself?
4. He cannot manage money and resources, and he feels women are accountants?
5. He will not encourage your dreams?
6. He does not know how to cook and yet does not want an alternative to home-cooked meals?
7. He does not see you as a partner but as a slave?
8. He will not be faithful to you and not regard how you feel about it?
9. He does not really share the same values as you do, though he is currently pretending to?
10. The both of you do not like each other's friends?
11. He will leave you to make the decisions?
12. He lies?

Beloved, I am not giving you a checklist or a guide. I am simply saying 2 things:

1. As you prepare for your king, you need to look beyond the physical and satisfying your current wants. Imagine 3 years with him.
2. For the guys, I am sure you want a "queen" but you have to start preparing for her. She probably has her checklist.

Recommended Reading
1. How To Choose A Life Partner: 165 Questions To Ask by Pastor Bimbo Odukoya
2. Preparing for Marriage God's Way: A Step-By-Step Guide for Marriage Readiness and After-The-Wedding Conflicts by Mack, Wayne A.

My Very Best Wishes...

6 comments:

Favoured Girl said...

Would you believe I have just written a post about resolving conflicts on JDTA, seems like we are in sync Rita! I'm going to write one or two more posts soon :)

I certainly will NOT marry the kind of man described in that list o, God forbid bad thing!

Ore said...

I didn't know that you had another blog, Rita. This is a much-needed area of discussion for many single women and these are important things to think about.

Anonymous said...

Hi there Rita

1st things first...in answer to ur questions, I say NO, I won't have married such a man.

2nd, I actually have a related post on this issue of Conflict Resolution...u can read it here at...

http://justdoyin.wordpress.com/2009/03/09/marriage-counselling-notes/

I really like ur blog btw...weldone.

@ Favored Girl...that makes 3 of us...I'm off 2 read ur post...hope u read mine 2...lol

aloted said...

interesting..

looks like the soul sistas will have to invite you has guest writer on our blog :) or we reference you or something..

u r too on point!

Rita said...

@Favoured Girl: Now you can see why your blog is a related link…Now this your blog is going to be a recommended reading for my next post…

@Ore: - I guess it is because I did not show the other blogs on my profile…thank you for the encouraging words…

@ justdoyin: Thank you for your big “NO”. Those questions will form a basis for a later post on choosing a marriage partner and learning to accept people for who they are.
I really enjoyed reading your notes on conflict resolution. How long have you been in marriage counselling?

@Aloted: You know I am always ready to do your bidding, dearest Aloted. Do as you please…

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